


Going Once, Going Twice, Sold!

by TottPaula



Category: Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Bachelor Auction, Dating, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Mistaken Identity, So Wrong It's Right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-06-02 11:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19440577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TottPaula/pseuds/TottPaula
Summary: The current bid is at 450 dollars, do I hear 500, 500 to you, madam, do I hear 550?Sold for 550 dollars!The lady in red has just won a date with... This basket is from Superman. Come up and collect your date and your picnic basket.The Justice League is launching their first bachelor auction, and everything goes wonderfully and terribly wrong!The ladies can only guess, and bid on the wrong men for their dates, resulting in all kinds of happy and hilarious chaos.





	1. Place your bids ladies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Place your bids!

The Justice League announced that they're holding a fundraising auction with all single male heroes and their sidekicks, to raise funds for disaster recovery.

The bachelors of the league are required to prepare a picnic basket to share with their dates, and the identities of the heroes or sidekicks will be kept secret until the baskets are won.

Each man or boy must make up his own basket, and they're as different as can be, just as the men are themselves.

They range from catered gourmet meals with bottles of wine to simple sandwiches with coleslaw and lemonade.

Some baskets are elaborate affairs with dishes and wine glasses, while others are simple crates or even cardboard boxes with paper plates.

It seems that not all of our handsome heroes and their sidekicks are very creative or competitive.

That only drives the bidding wars into a frenzy, and it's all in good fun because the money raised all goes to help disaster victims.

The men are cordoned off on one side of the room, hoping to raise funds and win a lunch date (or not, some are unhappy about being cattle), while in the main section the bidding war takes place.

The rules state that no one may reveal which basket is theirs until the winning bid is accepted and the hero is revealed.

The girls and women, those who simply wish to be with a hero for a few hours, are giggling and gossiping about which basket likely belongs to which of these handsome heroes.

The ladies have been allowed to look over the baskets to see what's inside, but it's hit or miss if they guess right or not as to which basket matches their desired date.

The bids are separated into heroes and sidekicks, with teen girls eligible to bid on the boys, and all eligible to bid for the adult heroes.

Tables and umbrellas are set up on the lawn, with cheerful music playing in the background.

It all resembles a country fair, with balloons decorations, and posters.


	2. So, Who's Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ladies are busy guessing which meal belongs to which hero.

The crowd of women is swarming around the basket viewing tables,

They're busy chattering and guessing among themselves while trying to match the contents of each of the baskets to the men on offer.

Using the best guess and feeling that they have the potential to match the guys who they wish to date.

"Oh! Check out the fancy one here, all of the gadgets, and the basket's made of metal and contains lobster rolls and pricy drinks inside, I'll bet that one's probably from Batman! That guy is all about gadgets.

"I wonder who made up the basket with Philly Cheesesteaks, fries, and colas? I love those, they'll get my bid!"

"This meal is catered from Stella's, they're the best restaurant, yum, this has got my vote!"

"What cheapskate made baloney and cheese sandwiches with orange soda and pie for a date, eww!"

"I love bologna sandwiches, you don't understand good picnic food. Psht!"

"This guy has good taste, steak tacos, cheese, and wine, and a tres leches cake, omg! I wonder who it's from?"

"This one has a picnic blanket, barbecued chicken, potato salad, cole slaw, lemonade, and chocolate cake...real all American."

"Oh, chocolate truffles, dragon fruit, and a fancy layered salad, I don't care what else is there, that's for me."


	3. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the bachelor heroes are not thrilled at all.  
> Others are acting silly to pass the time.  
> Batman is not amused.

Batman is complaining to anyone that will listen that he would much rather have sent a huge donation than be bid upon like cattle.

Flash is flitting around and eating dozens of keto bars as he burns up nervous energy.

Superman looks like a movie star, waving endearingly at the women smiling at him.

Aquaman is creating miniature typhoons out of boredom, but people are pointing and gasping.

Green Lantern is creating tiny ships and putting them in the ocean kings watery creations just to watch them sink. He and Arthur are apparently easily amused by this game they're playing.

A few of the young sidekicks are off in a corner making eyes and tossing kisses, and flirting wordlessly with the prettiest girls, and why not?

Batman is still grumbling, even though he's one of the most sought after dates. He's currently pretending complete indifference to the ladies attempting to capture his attention.

Why are so many interested in him, he turns and asks Superman?

"Ladies love a mystery, my friend, the less you tell them the more they want to know." He answers knowingly, grinning.

Superman goes back to watching Aquaman and GL play like two meta-powered children, chuckling at their antics.

Another lady catches Batman's eye and winks at him lasciviously. He did not expect that!

Maybe this isn't the worst thing ever. Besides, she's really beautiful.

Well, he supposes it can't be all bad winning a date with a beautiful woman. But that still doesn't mean he's going to become talkative.

Or more enthused.


	4. It's All For A Good Cause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bidding begins, it seems as though the League will make its goal, and assist many families and individuals in need.

"All rightie! Gather round folks, and pick up your numbered paddles, ladies of all ages, as we start the bids in five minutes time!" says the auctioneer.

While he's worked auctions of all kinds, he's never done anything like this.

"Would my assistant please bring up the first basket? Thank you. Please take your seats, two minutes to go."

There's a definite hum of excitement from the ladies as they scramble to take their seats and gather their bidding paddles in hand.

Everyone is sitting tall and craning their necks in order to see the first lunch basket being that's being auctioned off.

The clock behind the podium ticks more slowly than ever until the auctioneer lightly hammers the podium in order to focus everyone's attention.

As the clock strikes eleven, the first basket is shown and described, "Now, this first basket is from an adult hero, so according to our rules any of you may place a bid. Let me describe the basket and its contents... This is a simple affair in a sturdy cardboard box containing...

Well, it looks like a midday feast. There's firstly a bottle of red wine, two individual salads, the main course of meatball hero sandwiches, very appropriate, " he pauses as the audience laughs, "and a bag of Italian 'zeppole', small sugar-dusted donuts. A mighty meal for a mighty pair. Who wants to start the bidding at $25 dollars...number 43 begins the bids with 25, do I hear 30? Yes, thirty, thirty-five, a bid of fifty in the corner..."

The bids climb higher and higher until they stop at five hundred dollars.

"Going once, going twice, sold to number 12, please come up and claim your hero and your luncheon, ma'am."

Superman comes onto the stage to meet his lunch date and takes the basket in one hand, and her hand in the other.

There are whistles and noise from the room as he blushes slightly and smiles.


	5. Next, another interesting basket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baskets and their corresponding heroes are going, going, gone until only two remain.
> 
> Excitement and hilarity build.

It appears that the Man of Steel is paired with a petite soft-spoken lady who seems to be straining to see her date.

He tries to make things more comfortable and suggests to her, "let's sit over there on the grass it would be much easier for both of us."

She gives him a shy smile. "Thanks. And hi, I'm Aimee," she announced as she reached out to shake hands with him. Superman spreads the picnic blanket on the ground and sets up their lunch as he casually chats with his date.

There are only a few baskets remaining, with a few heroes still waiting for winning bidders for the honor of sharing a lunch.

The young sidekicks are all fully matched up eating and flirting with their dates, with lots of laughter.

Only two baskets and heroes remain, the heroes remaining are becoming increasingly restless.

Batman is sharpening his batarangs, while Green Arrow is pacing and grumpy. Poor guys!

Ultimately, they're bought and paired with their ecstatic dates, escorting them outdoors to the picnic area.

There's a buffet set up for those who didn't win a date this time, and a band is playing some merry music and couples are starting to dance to the music.

Maybe this fundraiser wasn't a complete waste of time, Batman imagines as he dances with his date. Yes, he actually danced and enjoyed it!

Arrow's date wants to dance as well, and drags him to an open area near the band.

He grumbles but eventually even he enjoyed himself, too.

And that's how it went, with everyone eventually pleased and a good amount of money raised for a worthy cause.


End file.
